


Im failing and I don’t care

by EmoPan00



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Family Dynamics, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I always wanted to use that tag, It just a vent fic Ig, Kinda, Suicidal Thoughts, They just want to help Tommy, Tommy is sad, Tommy needs a hug, except for the last part, gives this child a hug, it just appears for a second then is gone, now i can rest in Peace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:56:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27698627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmoPan00/pseuds/EmoPan00
Summary: Tommy doesn't care if he fails his classes, he doesn't care if he have to do it all again with people he doesn't know. Really he doesn't care
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 152





	Im failing and I don’t care

Tommy POV

“You sure you got this mate? We can keep practicing if you want!”

“No thank you, I got this!”

He obviously got it, it wasn’t even that hard. The exam is gonna be easy as hell

———————————————-

He didn’t got this 

“Tommy? Is been 2 minutes and you still didn’t respond to my question”

Oh god he was dying, he was feeling his throat closing but he couldn’t cry in front of the teacher or his classmates, there were only five people on the call and all of them were shy he know but they will totally laugh at him

“I- um. I don’t know, I’m sorry”

“You don’t know?? It’s an easy question Tommy. It was on the video I sent you!”

“I know, I- I’m sorry. I just- I don’t remember” 

“Uhg fine.. Gloria can you answer the question Tommy didn’t respond?”

Oh god now everyone thinks I’m so stupid. It was an obvious question, then why I don’t remember it??  
Everything is so blurry please don’t cry  
You can’t cry  
You shouldn’t cry- it’s your fault you didn’t study enough, but you were studying non stop all week  
Yeah only the 8 hours you were awake  
That’s not fair I- 

Ping

He look up and notice everyone left the call, god when did I stop paying attention  
Okay okay is not that bad.. it was just one exam, now you’re gonna have to take it again in February fuck. And you still have another 5 subjects you’re failing... oh god, I’m gonna fail this year am I? Fuck I’m gonna fail and I’m gonna have to repeat the year with people I don’t know and Phil is gonna be mad because he’s wasting money for school and I’m gonna be stuck in high school and I’m not gonna have a job and I’m not gonna have a future or a house or a family and I’m gonna die stupid and poor and-

Stop, Phil is next door in his bedroom, I can’t make a sound or he will ask how it went and I know if talk right now I’m gonna break in tears 

I’m tired.. I just wanna go to bed, I need to sleep

But you just woke up 8 hours ago. A human needs to stay awake 16 hours stupid 

The only thing you do is sleep 

God all you do is sleep 

I get up ignoring my thought going slowly to not make any sound and wake up Phil but the tv is on, I should turn it off so we don’t waste electricity.. but if its silent Phil will know I’m going to my room.. but the money.. maybe I can turn it off and run

Click 

“Tommy? How did it go?”

Oh god oh god oh god oh god

Don’t talk don’t talk don’t talk 

“Tommy?”

“We t- talk later, I- I’m going to bed” fuck your voice cracked you stupid idiot 

“Oh my god.. Tommy come here”

“No!” Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry 

I run to my room taking my shoes off and fall to my bed trying to sleep, fuck to much tears in my face.. when did I stared crying again..? God Phil is gonna hate me.. he already hates me  
I just want to sleep..

—————————————-

My eyes are open, that means I’m awake.. and alive 

There something soft around me.. that’s the mattress that means I’m in bed. Okay I’m in my room and... god my phone is on the floor, I can’t even move to grab it. I need to know the time shit. Okay my arm is moving that’s good. that means I can control myself 

12:00am... fuck 16 hours sleeping. What the fuck is wrong with you!? You have to be the most ridiculous person ever

I need to get up.. Phil’s probably sleeping right now, that’s good. That means I don’t have to talk to him..

Going downstair I see the light are on, Will and Techno are talking, they seem happy I shouldn’t go and ruin that. That’s alright i have food in my room I have left two days ago, I can stay in my room

“Hey Tommy! Want pizza?”

I do. I really do 

“Um no thanks, i was going to do homework so... bye”

“Wait Tommy! We wanted to talk to you”

Fuck me

“Yeah what’s up?” I went in the kitchen and saw them in the tablet with an open pizza box and empty cups. I sat in the other side of the tablet making me look like I was being interrogated by cops or something 

They look each other for a moment. Like trying to find the right words 

Wilbur break the silence first 

“Have you considered to go to support classes?”

“What?”

“Yeah. Phil told us you were struggling in school so we look up and there are classes who helps people who have problems studying”

“I- “

“And it’s not that expensive, you can go there once a week or two if you want”

“It should be three” techno joked 

“Ha! Go every day” Wilbur also joked. I hoped

“Imagine go there every day and still failing”

What

“Imagine going to support classes for support classes!”

Oh god. Everything is closing again, is that what they think about me? I’m already a disappointed for everyone 

“Guys..” shaky voice shaky voice shaky voice “do you really think I need support classes?”

“Well we don’t know how you’re doing, is just what Phil told us”

Phil

“I don’t need fucking support classes! Fuck. Do you guys really think I’m that stupid?”

Silence 

Fucking bitches 

“I’m not stupid alright! I’m not stupid. I just don’t pay attention to classes, I just don’t feel motivated to do my homework, im just tired of all this bullshit!”

“Of course you don’t feel motivated when all you do is sleep!” Techno snap 

“Yeah you literally just sleep 16 hours today”

“BECAUSE IM TIRED OF MYSELF ALRIGHT, I’m- I’m done with me and I just want to sleep and forget I’m alive” if you cry in front of them I will literally just kill myself “I know I’m not good in school, but that doesn’t mean im stupid, I just need to focus more and- and I don’t know stop overthinking I guess”

More silence 

Awkward silence 

Did they leave? 

God they got tired of me I knew it 

“You should tell that to Phil..”

So you’re gonna throw me to Phil cause you don’t wanna deal with me 

“God tommy no!” I look up at techno’s yell. Fuck did I say that out loud ? “It’s not like we don’t wanna deal with you, we just don’t know what to do, we’re so worried right now that we want to help you but Phil is an adult he knows more than us he will know what to do. But Toms, I just want you to know that we don’t think you’re stupid, we were just worried for you failing classes, we just wanted to help. But if don’t want to go then don’t, we’re not forcing to do anything. And we’ll not be mad if you failed this year because we know you tried and that’s what matters”

“Techno is right Toms..” Will continue “we love you and we care for you, we just missed our little loud brother who would bothers all the time... Bother in a good way” 

“I- don’t. No-. You guys don’t understand, I’m not trying to be better at classes. I don’t even care if I fail, I’m just scare you guys would think I’m a disappointed, that Im gonna be the first son who failed at school and Phil would be mad at me” 

“Oh Tommy..” thats a new voice, voice behind me

“Did you-“ “I heard everything.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck 

“Phil I can explain-“

“It’s alright Tommy, I know is hard. We all went there, but is gonna be alright.. and you will be alright. I’m proud of you no matter what you do no, matter what you’ve done”  
He’s holding my hands now, his eyes are comforting and he smile. At me. A real smile. A proud smile 

God I don’t deserve that 

“But im failing and all I do is sleep!”

“You’re a teenager Toms, literally all teenagers doesn’t care about school, all they wanna do is play video games or be with friends” 

“You hardly know how to take of yourself because all the responsibilities people gave you was school. But now you told us and we’re gonna take care of you, staring with comfort, it looks like the last hug someone gave you was last year” Phil joked at the last part getting a chuckle from the other boys 

“I would love that”

Phil. No. Dad hugs me tight and my two brother hugs my sides, and if I cry they won’t say anything and in return I won’t say anything if they cry, if Techno shakes on my shoulder or if Wilbur tries and fails to breathe normally or if Phil tries to hold himself together. We will just stay close for a while.

**Author's Note:**

> I not sure If I like this honestly, we will see what I’m gonna do


End file.
